Venus and Mars II

2YrOldVive la différence

Natal Venus and Mars

As we were saying, the more we Act out our nominal gender, the more we Project our hunger for Wholeness onto others, and the more we depend on Relationship to provide for us what it was never intended to provide.

In general, the Angle between our Natal Venus and our Natal Mars tells us how much work we may need to do to achieve Androgyny.  Those fortunate enough to be born with Venus Conjunct Mars are already there – only to spend much of their Life wondering why other people seem to have such strange ideas about Relationship – and/or What’s wrong with me that I’m not like everybody else?  While they’re expert on Relationship, because they innately understand its purpose (Play, Collaboration), they may be hard-pressed to Teach it, because it’s so automatic to them.  It will likely take them many years just to discover how gifted they are.

A Square between Venus and Mars can be nasty, because such a person isn’t here to enjoy the kind of external Relationship that Cultures mandate, they came here to explore the Edges of Relationship – only to spend much of their Life wondering why other people seem to have such apparent “success” about it – and/or What’s wrong with me that I’m not like everybody else?  They of course are our real Teachers about Relationship, especially in a World in flux, because they know from Experience where the Boundaries and Edges are.

In a stable World the Expert is someone who knows all the right answers and how to do things the right way.  When the World is in transition (such as now), such a traditional Expert is useless.  That’s when we need the self-taught people with Squares, who’ve spent their Lives exploring what might work and what might not work. 

This is why we refer to Squares as Mastery through Challenge – it’s a very different and very organic kind of Mastery that traditional Experts, who have learned from what worked in the past, cannot match.  As long as the person with the Square measures themselves against others or arbitrary standards (like what Mom wanted), they come up short, and the result is frustration. 

Once the person with Squares begins to measure themselves against their irrepressible Curiosity about the unexplored, the result is more like Excitement.

Appreciating the Square for the real Gift that it is, usually takes even longer.

Of course a Trine between Venus and Mars provides Blessings, but it can also leave its “owner” helpless in the face of relationship difficulty, as their Experience with difficulty may be limited.  A Sextile is nice – there is Grace, but some effort is required.

The Quintile (72 or 144 degrees) can be like the Square – there is so much hunger for more knowledge (Experiential or otherwise) that satisfaction is uncommon without Conscious self-talk.

A Venus-Mars Septile (51, 103, or 154 degrees) can feel like a pain because when we Act at the wrong Time, we don’t just waste effort, we make things worse.  Yet when we get our Timing right, this is where Power resides.  If your Venus-Mars are Septile, cultivate clumsiness – if others see you as awkward and clumsy (as you will feel when your Timing is off – that is, much of the time) but light-hearted about it, it can be a very lovable quality.  If you watch the videos in the earlier post, notice the difference in the way you respond to the speakers who are a little awkward, compared to those that are slick.

The rest of us, with no particular Harmonic between our Venus and our Mars, are left muddling along.  Trying to sing along with the near-universal theme of popular music, but not at all sure whether it’s mirroring us or programming us.  A Square to our Mars or Venus from some other planet can be almost as Challenging as a Square between Venus and Mars themselves.

Transiting Venus and Mars

The current Venus-Mars angle, in the sky now (“Transiting” in astrologuese), is a Biseptile.  The Signs are Square, but the Degrees are not.  It’s like a Square with a Wormhole through it.

Venus-Mars applies not just to Relationship, but to any endeavor where our Goals and our Efforts are involved – are there any other endeavors?  The Cycle is about knee-jerk Nurturance – “A young girl feeding birds in winter.”  The Biseptile says to

Hold back if the Timing isn’t perfect, and Launch when the Timing is there, but don’t be attached to Outcomes

As is often the case, our endeavors are more often responses to prior PIAVAs and Unconscious Patterns than they are what we think they are.  Outcomes are always Teachings.  The less we involve our Ego with our Emotional Reactions to Outcomes, while fully honoring our Reactions, the faster we Learn and the fewer courses we have to repeat.

How to tell when Timing is perfect?  Not easy.  It’s a Magnetic process – you have to be fully prepared to Act, but Focusing on something else, so your mind isn’t trying to figure it out.  But not so Focused that you miss the cue.  A friend’s six-year-old once called it his “corner-eye” – always in one’s peripheral vision, but never in one’s focus.  It’s not about the words, it’s about the Body Language – your Body will know when the Timing is perfect, your mind won’t.  I’m not talking about lovers, I’m talking about anything we’re trying to Do or PIAVA – lovers just happens to be the perfect metaphor for Venus and Mars.

The concurrent Venus-Eris and Mars-Eris Cycles are about Creativity – “A pregnant woman in a light summer dress.”

The current triple Waning Square from Venus to Eris tells us that

It’s not a time to Create or Give Away Secrets, it’s a time to hunker down and save our Power for moments when it will be more effective.  We’re storing material and ideas for the next Creation, but at this time it has more value as Potential than as Manifestation.

The imminent triple Opposition from Mars to Eris can be Confusing –

We’ve been Acting to remove obstacles to our Creations and Creativity, but now we hesitate to Act, fearing we’ll go too far

Which is good – remember that

Confusion is the first stage of Growth, and the Opposition begins the Waning half of a Cycle, the half where we Grow out of Certainty and into Faith, or at least into Curiosity.

In simple terms, Mars is concerned with the Characteristics of things, and with changing those Characteristics, while Venus is concerned with the Relationship between things, and with changing those Relationships.  For instance, to Mars, when something is Vulnerable it’s open to Competition – like replacing your negative self-talk with positive self-talk.   From the perspective of Venus, when someone is Vulnerable they’re open to Connection – like empathizing with your despair.  Very different Skills, each very useful in context.  The more Perspectives we have in our toolkit, the more Skill we bring to the table.

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