Abandonment and Portal 10.12


Discover Magazine doesn’t put their current issue on the Internet, so I can’t link to it, but there’s an article in it about a dude who has success healing OCD.  His four-step method should make progress with Abandonment too.  Not that it does the job overnight; it takes some time, attention, and work.  The Discover issue also has a nice spread on ISON, and an interesting article on research into what used to be called “MCS.”


It’s only one of an infinite number of ways to split the Universe, but we can divide and conquer many of our negative feelings by labeling them Our Abandonment (Don’t leave me!) and Our Suffocation (Don’t touch me, don’t talk to me every again!).  “Relabeling” is the first step in Jeffrey Schwartz’s process; in his OCD folks, it goes from I’m crazy to There goes my OCD again!  With Abandonment it goes from I’ll never make it! to There goes my Abandonment again!  It goes from Me to Mine, and that’s important.  Witnessing our Emotions with our Intellect.

Now, Abandonment is afoot for real, believe me.  Walk in to any room full of people, and every Abandonment feeling you’ve ever experienced will light up like it was brand fresh, at least in the USofA.  And nobody’s making it up – approximately 99.999999% of the people in the US are being Abandoned in the Present Moment, in a serious way, and there’s a serious threat to the rest of the Planet as well.  Their Livelihood is threatened, and Livelihood is almost universally aligned with Identity.  So we’re surrounded by Ego Death, and it feels horrible.

So are we making light of this, just relabeling Abandonment?  It’s not just Feelings that we’re talking about.  It’s real!  But if we allow ourselves to regress to our early Abandonment, we lose all of the skills that we learned in the interim.  If we can push ourselves into the Present Moment, we’ll still be Abandoned in the Real World, but we’ll have our full skill set to respond to it.

I’ve been pulling out all the stops to embrace my own Abandonment.  I dreamed a few days ago about a huge airliner tossed like a leaf in a storm and slamming into the ground a few yards away from me.  I Tapped for 90 minutes after waking up yesterday morning to get clear enough to know what to do with myself.  When I drove onto a ferry full of people later in the day, it took me ten minutes of vigorous Tapping to work myself out of terror.  When I get really lost in Emotions I can’t put into perspective or plan amends for, I resort to looking up my Transits – which planets in the Sky are messing with my natal planets?  That always works.  This time, no new information there.

When there’s a storm of Emotion, if you have any degree of Sensitivity, it feels like we’ve lost healthy control over our Lives.  When there’s a storm of Abandonment, it’s particularly nasty.  Snowden is creating storms of Suffocation, and they aren’t nearly so bleak as the Abandonment storm – even though they’re just as Real and may be a bigger threat to our Identity and Safety in the long run.  It’s a standard pychic “rule” that you can’t clear other people’s Feelings.

But you can get your buns into the Present Moment.

That’ll allow you to bring your full adult skills with you when you do face whatever rug is being pulled out from under you.

So first we Relabel – Yes, I feel terrified, but how much of that is a response to a real threat, and how much of it is My Abandonment?  We’ve already stepped outside of the terror; it may not be abated yet, but now we’re looking at it instead of being it.


The second step is to Re-attribute.  Initially I attributed my terror to some threat to my continued existence.  But knowing that I carry around with me a carpetbag of Abandonment, I know that I need to look to see how much of my Emotion is attributed to my Baggage.  I don’t want to respond to my Baggage, I want to respond to the Present Moment.  There’s a real threat in the Present Moment for many people, and it’ll be surprising if it doesn’t extend to me.  But responses to my Unfinished Business would just make things more entangled and complex.

The Reattribution step is an analytical one.  Differentiating the various sources of my Abandonment, and responding to each part appropriately.


The third step is Refocus.  In the current situation, after we’d separated the Present Moment from our Regression, we’d Refocus from all those negative Failure messages we got as a child, to whatever real Present Moment threats are upon us, or upon our Community, and how we might respond to them.

In a long-term effort to heal our Abandonment we’d train ourselves, through gentle and loving practice, to Refocus from “running scared” – continuing our everyday Lives but with a thick layer of Anxiety, to “sitting still” – Tapping out the overwhelming segments of the Emotions, recognizing the voices that are telling us we’re inadequate, identifying our approximate age when we received those messages, empathizing with our Historical Child as if they were a lost child we encountered in the park (You poor Sweetheart, you’re probably scared; let me help you find your way home), differentiating what’s really going on in the Present Moment, and PIAVAing or Planning a Healing response to it.

Humpty Dumpty is your Identity.  Once it’s broken, all the King’s men can’t put it back together again.  If you try to continue to function when your Shell is broken, you’re just going to egg everything.  When your Shell is broken, you have to STOP and devote your full Attention to pasting it back together.  While all the King’s men couldn’t do that, you can, by stepping outside and Witnessing your discombobulation.


The fourth step in Dr. Schwartz’s regimen is to Revalue our priorities – kind of the Saturn stage (looking for the most important thing).  In the current moment, in our terror, our Values are on our Survival and our Ego.  What does it mean if we Fail to keep our family Safe?  What does that say about us?  Is that Shame we’re feeling?  We’re focusing on the inventory of all the Valuable things we stand to lose.

But what’s anyone’s most scarce, most Valuable commodity?  Their Attention.  There are real threats here, we can’t afford to waste our Attention on Shame and Feelings of Failure.  But that’s precisely what we need to do, efficiently, so we can move on to addressing the real threats.  To do that efficiently, we Relabel, Re-attribute, Refocus, and then once we’ve differentiated Reality from Regression, we set aside our Valuing of Pride (the Shame) and Success (the Failure), and shift our Valuing to Responding to the Real Threats.

In a long-term program to Revalue our Abandonment process, where there may not be real threats (if we ever get back to that place again), we’d Value our ability to differentiate the various sources of our Abandonment, and our ability to respond to each appropriately.

It turns out that we are in fact engaged in a long-term program to Relabel, Re-attribute, Refocus, and Revalue our Unfinished Business, as starting this week, Juno again Squares the Nodes. 

In Dr. Schwartz’s OCD crew, their OCD was identified in brain scans that clearly showed how various parts of their brains were acting differently than the brains of those without OCD.  And after a period of time working with his four R’s, their brain scans looked a lot more like someone without OCD.

Juno and the Nodes

When a planet Retrogrades it often makes multiple Angles with another planet.  Juno first Squared the Nodes during most of May 2013.  Then at the Ides of June, it stopped and turned around.  It made a Retrograde Square to the Nodes from mid-July to mid-August.  Then in late September it turned Direct again.  It Squares the Nodes for the third time from now until November 7.

When an Angle repeats thrice like this, we call the first event the “Can-Opener,” because it usually surprises us with some unexpected dilemma that we don’t offhand know how to deal with.  The second pass we call the “Exposition,” because the problem repeats, but this time at a more reasonable pace, and we have time to try out a few strategies for dealing with it.  The third visit is the “Confidence-Builder,” because now the problem recurs but we know what we’re doing, so we dispatch it efficiently.

Juno represents our Unconscious Identity (what makes us feel insulted?) and that which is coming into Consciousness.  Juno Squaring the Nodes means we’re discovering things about our Excess Baggage that we didn’t know about (such as another layer of our Abandonment), and we’re discovering things about our Deepest Desires and what we came here to do.  So we’re in the Confidence-Builder stage of this process!

That gives us a much more fruitful perspective, because we can know that the next layer of our Abandonment could well be the last!  While the bottom-most layers may well be the hardest, we can expect that they won’t take nearly as long as most of the other layers have – simply because by now we’ve learned to be quite skillful at this process!  Even if you aren’t Conscious of how you’ve changed, you have changed.

Portal 10.12

We get a special gift on October 12, when the Moon crosses Juno and helps it Square the Nodes.  The Moon often triggers hardcopy events that reflect the underlying Energies, so while the Moon is on Juno it’s an excellent time to practice “sitting still” and taking Dr. Schwartz’s four steps – especially if there are, for better or worse, real-world events during the Portal – which using three degrees of Sensitivity runs from about 1pm PDT October 12 to 2am PDT October 13.

We get a lot of help through this Portal.  The Chiron-Pluto Bridge that we talked about earlier is still there, and now it’s offering an alternative path to the Juno Square.  You couldn’t ask for better help than Chiron and Pluto!

P10.12Look at Venus making a Quincunx (green) to the South Node and a Sextile (blue) to Juno, forming a Challenge-Curiosity-Grace (red-green-blue) loop from Juno to South Node to Venus.  That boils down to

  1. Whoa, something’s hassling me! (Challenge from Baggage)
  2. I wonder how I can Walk in Beauty with That?!? (Curiosity: Venus)
  3. Oh, I get it! (Grace – Coming into Consciousness)

Especially when the Ceres (making it permanent) Mjolnir (Insight) across the same Juno-South Node Square is still there (till the 16th).  The same Insight that’s embedded in #3 above, but from a different source.  The purple lines in the Mjolnir are three-eighths of the way around the Zodiac – the Eighth Harmonic is about Realignment, and the Third Harmonic is Love with Wisdom.  Another benefic!

And finally, Uranus makes a Quincunx to the North Node:

I’m used to thinking of Desire as mundane or even profane, but I wonder how my Soul Self is reflected in my Deepest Desires?!?

Which turns out to be a very deep question, one that, when answered fully, reveals why Self-Love is the key to Ascension.  It’s not drawn in, but there’s a nice Trine (Grace) between Uranus (Yintegrity) and Venus (Walking in Beauty).  Yes, Yintegrity and Walking in Beauty are from the same family, but that doesn’t mean there can’t be Conflict between them.  So a Trine between them is doubly beneficial.

Rose Quartz and Self-Love are twins.

One Response to “Abandonment and Portal 10.12”

  1. SriMati Says:

    So beautifully expressed. Jim, this is a great service to all. Namaste

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: